ILLUSTRATION: Unwilling to take divorce plaintiff cases

Last time: Singleness for single-minded service; intimacy to insulate against immoralitY. In this message, we will deal with God's view of divorce. In most western countries, about half of the marriages end in divorce.

• Highest divorce rates: Belarus (68%), Russia (65%), Sweden (64%), Latvia, Ukraine, Czech Republic, Belgium, Finland, Lithuania, UK (53%), US (49%), Hungary, Canada, Norway, France, Germany, Netherlands, Switzerland (in the 40s). South Africa low - around 15%
• Lowest divorce rates: Libya, Mongolia, Chile, Sri Lanka, Italy, Mexico, El Salvador, Macedonia, Turkey

Sensitivity on the Issue of Divorce - On the one hand, no unhappiness is so intense as that felt in an unhappy marriage. No tragedy is so great as the degeneration of a relationship which God designed for love and fulfillment but which descends into one of bitterness, discord and despair.

On the other hand, the essence of sin is selfishness, and God hates divorce. So as society becomes more selfish, and less God-conscious, divorces will increase. The only factor seeming to bring down the divorce rates in recent years has been the number of people living together; the consequence is that those who get married actually want to be married and they understand it as being partners for life. Those who are self-oriented don't want the commitment of marriage and don't want to lose their money in a divorce battle.

• What does God say about marriage?
• What does He say about divorce?
• Are there any grounds for divorce that God recognizes?
• What if your unsaved spouse divorces you?
• If I am divorced, can I remarry?

I will argue some things today that you may disagree with, even the elders. Good men differ - just show me where from Scripture you get your position.

TEXT: 1 CORINTHIANS 7:10-16

PRAYER

PRELIMINARY IDEAS

1. God Loves Marriage - The Scriptures teach that marriage was the first and most fundamental institution created by God - before children, before government, before the church - whereby two people, united by vows and in flesh, become viewed by God as one flesh and remain as such until the death of one of the partners (Genesis 2:22-25, Matthew 19:4-6).

Marriage is the closest picture of the relationship God wants to have with us - a covenant friendship for life that is filled with spiritual intimacy. Jehovah called Israel His bride, and in the NT, the church is pictured as the bride of Jesus Christ. Divorce destroys this picture; it is like saying that we can lose our salvation.

Any attempt by man to undo the oneness of a husband and wife is not only unnatural, but is rebellion against God and His principles laid down at creation and in His Law. We learned last time that God commands spouses to remain together and to grant each other physical intimacy except by consent for a short period of time for the purpose of prayer and fasting.

2. Divorce is a "legal fiction" - it treats you as though the other person has died

• In the Scriptures, whenever a legitimate divorce takes place, one is free to remarry
  
• If there is a valid divorce, provisions in your Last Will & Testament leaving everything to your spouse are nullified

3. God Hates Divorce - The Scriptures also teach that God hates divorce. Let's go on a little time journey.

• In the first statement of God's Law, there is no mention of divorce - Exodus & Leviticus
• In the second statement of God's Law (Deuteronomy 24:1-4), due to the imitation of other nations around them that allowed a verbal divorce by the husband (the Arabs allowed a final divorce on saying, "I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you"), Moses decided that a woman in Israel couldn't be passed around like junk. He permitted divorce
  • Only upon writing a bill of divorce, and
  • Only if the husband found an "indecency" in his wife, and
  • If you divorced your spouse and she remarried and was divorced by that guy, you could not marry her again
• After the Babylonian captivity, Jewish men started inter-marrying with pagan women again, and Ezra in Ezra 10 demanded that these men divorce their wives - they were very careful to keep God's Law, so it must have been determined that their wives' paganism was an indecency
• About 100 years later, Jewish men were drifting away from God; part of that involved them divorcing their Jewish wives to marry pagan women. The prophet Malachi (Malachi 2:13-16) rips into the Jewish men telling them that God hates divorce.
• By Jesus' time, three rabbinical schools of thought had developed over what this indecency meant:
  • Rabbi Shammai - indecency meant 1) something egregious, or 2) a gross sexual sin in violation of the marriage covenant, such as adultery, homosexuality. In Roman days, Jews could not execute someone. Under God's law, if a woman was found to be a homosexual, or be cheating on her husband, she would be put to death, but under Rome, they couldn't put her to death. So, divorce served as that legal fiction - she is dead to me, the marriage is ended.
  • Rabbi Hillel - indecency could mean 1) something egregious, 2) sexual sin, or 3) anything you didn't like - burning the bagels
  • Rabbi Akiba - indecency meant all of the above, or that you found another woman who was more beautiful
• Jesus was not afraid to set the record straight when the Pharisees tried to get Him to take sides with one rabbinical school or the other (Matthew 19:3-9).
  • Jesus starts out by quoting Genesis, basically saying that divorce doesn't tear two people apart - it tears one person apart.
  • After they ask about Moses putting the provision in Deuteronomy, Jesus says that Moses didn't provide for divorce - he conceded it to control sin; it was added to the Law because of the hardness of people's hearts.
  • Then Jesus makes a very important statement in verse 9. Note several things:
    1. Jesus does NOT say that divorce is OK, or ever God's will. God's will is marriage for life. It is never God's will for you to institute a divorce (separation for sanity or safety may be acceptable for a time)
    2. Jesus does not outright prohibit divorce, and likewise God the Father did not prohibit it in Deuteronomy
    3. Jesus took divorce very seriously and said that, with one exception, all remarriage after divorce is adultery. This position was more conservative than Shammai - only the OT capital sexual offences (v. 10 the disciples said it was better not to marry).
    4. Regarding that one exception, Jesus used the Greek word porneia meaning fornication, the broad term for all serious sexual sin - sins that carried the death penalty under God's Law. Jesus also mentions this exception in Matthew 5:31-32
    5. In other words, if a spouse commits a sexual sin in violation of the marriage covenant that would have been worthy of death under the Law of Moses, and the other spouse gets a divorce, that divorce is valid, as if the death of the other spouse had taken place.
    6. There are two kinds of divorce in our society; fault-based divorce and no-fault divorce. There is no evidence in the Scriptures that God recognizes a no-fault divorce in which there has been some alleged unkindness, emotional abuse, estrangement or "irretrievable breakdown in the marriage." No-fault divorces are not valid in God's sight. You are still married in God's eyes, though you are divorced under South African law. Consequently, if either spouse remarries and consummates the marriage, he or she has committed adultery.
    7. After a modern fault-based divorce in which it is proven or admitted that one spouse has committed adultery or some other sexual act worthy of death under the Mosaic Law, the Lord considers the marriage dissolved. The other party may accordingly remarry without committing adultery.
    " God's desire is that, even if there are grounds for a divorce (that is, a spouse has violated the marriage through adultery), the offended spouse should forgive the offender, seek restoration and reconciliation (Hosea 3:1-3), and act with the same selfless love and commitment that Christ has for us.

Thus, God hates divorce, it violates the covenant of marriage, it destroys the picture of our eternal salvation, and it is sin. Nonetheless, if there are grounds for the divorce, and the proper form is followed in the courts, God will recognize the divorce as a final ending of the marriage. At times, God recognizes the wrong things that we do:

• He will recognize the marriage of a believer with an unbeliever
• He will give rules managing slavery but not abolishing it
• He will give guidelines about polygamy without outlawing it

This brings us back to our passage today

GUIDELINES FOR CHRISTIANS MARRIED TO OTHER CHRISTIANS (vv. 10-11)
The reason I believe these are guidelines for believers is that Paul never gave instructions to unbelievers. In 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, Paul restates God's command that a wife is not to depart from her husband, and the husband is not to divorce his wife. This is the general no-divorce rule for believers; Paul is not discussing the adultery exception here. If a Christian was divorced for some no-fault or little-fault ground, he or she should remain unmarried or remarry their former spouse. I know two couples who got divorced and then remarried - shock factor.

GUIDELINES FOR CHRISTIANS MARRIED TO NON-CHRISTIANS WHO WANT TO STAY MARRIED (vv. 12-14)
The reason Paul says "to the rest I say" is because neither the OT nor Jesus mentioned the scenario of what to do with an unbelieving spouse, so Paul is giving new instruction. He is not saying that his writing is not authoritative. If an unbelieving spouse will live with you in peace, then great because your unbelieving spouse and children are drawn to the Lord by your presence and example and the Holy Spirit's work in their life. Peter backs this up in 1 Peter 3.

GUIDELINES FOR CHRISTIANS MARRIED TO NON-CHRISTIANS WHO WANT A DIVORCE (vv. 15-16)
If the unbeliever departs (expression for divorce - same as vv. 10-11), let him depart. The Christian is not to depart, not to file divorce, because that would be a sin. But if the unbelieving spouse begins divorce proceedings, the believer is not to contest. There are times, particularly when a man or woman is living meaningfully for Christ, that their unbelieving spouses become continually angry and disgusted. At times, Jesus comes into a house bringing a sword that divides relationships.

The phrase "not under bondage" is a matter of some debate:

• Some say it means the believer is not under bondage to keep the marriage together or fight the divorce, but they are not free to remarry once the dfivorce has gone through
• Some say it means the believer is not bound to the marital bonds, even after the divorce - that is, they are free to remarry. Romans 7:2 refers to marital bonds. I prefer the second position.

So, in summation:

• Marriage is designed by God as one woman and one man together for life in a covenant friendship.
• Divorce is always wrong, even if there are grounds for it. Christians are not to file for divorce.
• A believer can be released from marital obligations, and be free to remarry, for one of three reasons:
  1. Death of the spouse (Romans 7:2-3);
  2. Divorce due to adultery or serious sexual misconduct of the other spouse worthy of death in the OT (Matthew 19:9);
  3. Divorce due to the other spouse being an unbeliever and pursuing the divorce (1 Corinthians 7:15).
  
• Physical, verbal, or mental abuse, prolonged absences, frigidity, temper flares, separate finances, inhumane treatment, etc. are wrong but are NOT grounds for divorce. May be grounds for separation until things can be worked out.

Questions or Coments?