2 September 2007
My First Disciples, Part 2
Biblical Principles For Growing Kids God's Way
David J. Brown

Definitions By Tired Parents
o AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labour to have a baby again
o DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert
o FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
o FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots
o FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're angry with him
o GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right
o HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word
o IMPREGNABLE: a woman whose memory of child delivery is still vivid
o INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say
o OW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings
o PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own
o PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it
o SHOW-OFF: a child who is more talented than yours
o STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's dummy by boiling it, and to your last baby's dummy by blowing on it
o TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies
o TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises
o VERBAL: able to whine in words

PRINCIPLE #2 - LOVE YOUR MATE
Commitment. It's what the Spanish explorer Cortez insisted on when he landed in Mexico. When he saw his crew's fear and vacillation about invading this land of the Aztecs, Cortez gathered them all on shore and then set fire to the ships on which they'd come. Now, there could be no turning back; they were committed.

Commitment is a man and a woman, standing together before God and His people, pledging to forsake all others and cleave only to each other until death - and only death - parts them.

The Beginning Of The Family
o The greatest overall influence you will have on your children will not come in your role as a dad and mom but as a husband and wife. Gary Ezzo
o Two thoughts threatening successful parenting:
- The husband-wife relationship is the means to an end - having a family
- When you have children, they must be the focus of your attention

A Look At Genesis 2
o "It is good." God created all male and female animals together (Gen. 1:25). As a totally separate act, God created Adam, made in His own image, and personally breathed life into him (Gen. 2:7)
o "It is not good." Adam named the creatures God brought to him and looked for a female one like himself (Genesis 2:18-20). He was alone - a social creature without anyone to socialize.
o "The Suitable Helper." Eve was the only creature not made directly from the dust of the ground. She was made from Adam's side and in the image of God. She was a help by being "suitable," a "completer," (v. 18) not just a propagator
o God brought her to the man. Just as the two had originally been one person, in marriage they were to become one person again (v. 22). Even without kids, it was "very good."

What Does Genesis 2 Mean For My Family?
1. The husband-wife relationship is the first social relationship established in Scripture.
2. The husband-wife relationship is the hub of dependent relationships. The beginning and center of the family unit is the husband-wife relationship What is the essence of security for a child?
3. The husband-wife relationship must be the priority relationship in the family
4. All other relationships should be subject to the marriage. Children are not the center of the family universe, but welcome members to it

57% of your married years (33 years) you will live alone together

Why Is This Functionally Important?
o Dad and mom are the first picture a child has of God - loving, powerful, supplying, listening, chastising, never wrong
o Distance between parents (emotionally and physically) can hurt that picture and create enormous insecurity
o Divorce destroys the picture (2 and 22 years)
o Most atheists have divorced parents, awful relationship with their fathers
o If dad and mom openly love each other, all the world is safe, secure, and right

Child-Centered Parenting
o What Is It? - Allowing your child to determine the rules of your home: bedtime, TV time, mealtime, meal venue, the menu, the value of pets, the value of furnishings, the purchase of clothing, the meaning of "fun," etc.
o Child-centeredness will lead to a child's self-centeredness. He must be the center of all of his relationships
o Parents later battle to let go when the kids get married or leave for school!

So How Do I Love My Mate?
o Keep dating; go on annual get-aways
o Do the things that were special B.C.
o Have "couch time"
o Practice "togetherness"
o Tell your kids the order of love
o Make "empty nest" plans around the kids
o "Dad, mom and the rest of us"

The Ships Are Burning
By Steve Chapman
We made this journey, we sailed here together.
We made a promise we'd stay here forever.
And when we reached the shore, we kissed the ground,
You took my hand and we turned around,
And we smiled while we watched the flames light up the night.

Chorus
'Cause the ships are burning. There'll be no turning back for you and me.
Whatever we find here, we've made it clear here is where we'll always be.
And on this island of pleasure, there'll be some danger and we might think about returning,
But we both know we won't go - that's why the ships are burning.

Too many lovers are keeping their ships anchored in the bay.
One by lonely one we've seen them sail away.
But when we reached the shore, we kissed the ground,
You took my hand and we turned around,
And we smiled while we watched the flames light up the night.

What About You?
o Have you misunderstood marriage as the self-sufficient center of the family?
o Have you fallen into child-centered parenting?
o Have you gotten so busy that you're forgetting to nurture your marriage?
o How will/do your kids view God in light of you and your spouse being a God-image?
o When the kids leave, will you be left facing a stranger?